


His Regrets

by kinda_all_a_matter_of_perspective_really



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst with Unhappy Ending, Character Death, Dream is trying to cope, George has cancer, George is going to die, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:07:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27522778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kinda_all_a_matter_of_perspective_really/pseuds/kinda_all_a_matter_of_perspective_really
Summary: Dream is worried about George.Well he's more worried than he was last month, or even last week.George's coding for a simple plug-in, that Dream knows he could code in his sleep, is riddled with errors.His coding has always had its errors, that Dream of course would fix, but its never been this bad.AKA George has cancer and Dream has to deal with it.Only angst here
Relationships: Clay | Dream & GeorgeNotFound & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream & GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 104





	1. the news

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the George has cancer fic no one asked for...

Dream is worried about George.

Well he's more worried than he was last month, or even last week.

George's coding for a simple plug-in, that Dream knows he could code in his sleep, is riddled with errors.

His coding has always had its errors, that Dream of course would fix, but its never been this bad. 

The last few months Dream has watched as his friend's coding has slowly become more messy. At first Dream thought George had become lazy, missing a parenthesis or quotation mark here or there. Then the random letters or numbers started appearing.

He thought it was a joke at first. George just messing around, making his life a little more annoying. When it got to the point Dream had to spend an hour and a half fixing syntax errors, Dream finally said something.

\---------

_Discord rang three times before George picked up._

_"Hello." George's voice was hoarse from sleep._

_"George we gotta talk."_

_"What about? You sound so serious?" George giggled._

_"Your code." His voice still serious._

_"What about it?"_

_"The whole putting random letters was cute at first, but it is such a pain in the ass to fix."_

_"What are you talking about?" George sounded genuinely confused, but he was a good actor when he wanted to be._

_"Haha. Is this gonna be Skeppy's latest video? Trolling Dream with GeorgeNotFound?" Dream says in his youtuber voice._

_"I feel like I'm the one in a Skeppy video right now. I genuinely have no idea what're talking about."_

_"Uh-huh sure. Just look at this." Dream sends a screenshot of George's code in their Discord DMs._

_George is silent for a long time._

_"George?"_

_"Gotcha." George begins to giggle. Dream wasn't sure he believed the older boy._

_\-------_

_Dream definitely didn't believe him now._

_At first the mistakes almost stopped, then they slowly returned with a vengeance. It wasn't just his syntax, his code itself became so incomprehensible to even Dream._

_He wanted to bring it up to George, he really did. But lately George had been, well, moody. He would snap at Dream or Sapnap for little things, only to apologize a few minutes or hours later. He always regretted it and apologized sincerely, but in the moment George couldn't be reasoned with. Dream would edit these moments out of his videos. When they were streaming these moments always stressed the chat out. They would freak out so bad that George had to tweet multiple apologies just to clam them down._

_Dream saw the hate George would get and tried his best to stop it. He past the moments off as jokes and mentioned how George was tired at the time._

_The tired part wasn't even a lie._

_George started sleeping through recording sessions and ending his streams early, if he streamed at all. Every time they voice called George would sound groggy, his explanation was always he had been napping._

_Things continued like this for months._

_Dream shared his concerns with Sapnap who had similar worries. They tried to talk with George about it a few times, only to get brushed off every time._

_Dream was sure something was wrong with his best friend, but eventually he stopped trying to figure it out. He assumed George would tell him when he was ready._

_He waited and waited._

_George just seemed to get worse. Trailing off in the middle of sentences and sleeping through whole days. He would complain of headaches that never quite went away._

_Dream still waited._

_Even as George started to call him less and less. Dream would go days without talking to George, something he never could have imagined a few months ago._

_Dream kept waiting._

_Even as more fans began to notice. He got hundreds of comments asking if George was okay, not to mention all the tweets and DMs._

_One day he didn't have to wait._

_\----------_

_Dream woke up to ringing._

_He accepted it, still half asleep, and was surprise when George's voice greeted him._

_"Hello?"_

_'George.. uhh hi."_

_"It sounds like I woke you up, sorry about that." George sounded tired too._

_"I didn't mean to fall asleep so you're good." Their conversations lately sounded too polite, like they weren't fully comfortable with each other._

_"I have something to tell you if you're not too busy." George sounded serious._

_"Is something wrong?" Dream matched his serious tone._

_"Something is, well it has been wrong for awhile." George took a deep breathe, "I should have told you a long time ago."_

_"George?" Dream started to worry._

_"I'm just going to come out and say it..." George's voice is shaking, "I have cancer."_

_Dream is quiet. His brain reels, "This is a joke, right?" He chokes on the words._

_"It's not."_

_"Fuck," Dream curses softly. He doesn't know how to respond this._

_"Language." He weakly mimics Bad._

_"I'm so sorry, George." Dream tries his best to not freak out, George definitely doesn't need that right now. "What kind?"_

_"It's brain cancer, that's why I've been having mood swings."_

_George's behavior suddenly makes sense to Dream. He is quiet, just trying comprehend that all this is real.  
_

_"And all my naps." George says his voice still shaking._

_"And your coding." Dream tries to say jokingly, but he doesn't quite put it off._

_"Yeah and my headaches." He says somberly.  
_

_"That fucking sucks." Dream states the obvious but it's the only thing he can think to say._

_"Yeah."_

_"What is your treatment going to be?"_

_George is quite for a long time._

_"I guess I forgot I didn't tell you yet, it's terminal."_

_\-----_


	2. Your hands in mine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If George ever gets cancer I am 100% deleting this.

The cancer wasn't just terminal, it was inoperable. 

If surgery was attempted, George would most likely die. Even if he didn't it would result in severe brain damage. He could lose all motor or cognitive function.

Surgery wasn't an option.

The cancer was stage 4 any chemo would be too little, too late.

George had six months at the least or a whole year, if he was lucky.

Dream bought plane tickets the day George told him. George couldn't die without seeing his best friend. 

Sapnap and Bad bought theirs the next day. 

\---------

Dream had shoved all he could manage in two suitcases and a carry-on.

He never wanted to meet George this way. It was going to rushed and somber. He used to think the day he met George would be one of the happiest days of his life.

Now it would just be a reminder of how little time they had left together.

\-------------

Green eyes scanned the airport for a familiar British face. He checked his phone for the thousandth time.

_I was gonna say I'm wearing green, but that wouldn't really help you_

_Haha. I'll just look for a giant with a murderous grin  
_

Dream spots George first. He just stares for a second, admiring the British man's, well, everything. His hair lit up by the setting sun, his lips set in a small smile, his dark eyes searching for someone.

_For him._

Dream suddenly noticed his heart was racing.

Before his brain caught up with his body, he was hugging George. It was more of a tackle really. George nearly fell over when the taller boy jumped him. 

"Dream! What the hell?" After yelling at his friend, George couldn't help but giggle.

"Sorry," Dream is most definitely not. Dream doesn't know how long they hug for, just that its long enough for Dream to memorize the texture of George's hair on his cheek and to know George probably uses lavender-scented shampoo. 

When Dream can finally stop focusing on the feeling of George in his arms, he notices multiple people pushing against them. The younger boy realizes they've been blocking foot traffic. 

Despite how little he wants to, Dream lets go of the older boy. They separate and George just stares at him. A shy smile appears on his lips. 

"What? Something on my face?" Dream asks.

"No, it's just the first time I've gotten to see your face." 

_Oh._

"Like what you see?" Dream flashes a flirty smile.

"You're such an idiot." George rolls his eyes and giggles.

"Let's get out of traffic." Dream gestures to a less busy part of the airport. George looks around, seemingly just realizing they weren't the only people in the airport. 

They walked side by side. George's hand briefly brushing against Dream's. 

Dream wanted to grab it.

_Stop it. Don't let your feelings get in the way. George doesn't need that, especially now._

"Dream~" He felt George shaking him.

"Yeah?"

"I asked how your flight was?" 

"It was good I guess."

"You are so jet lagged right now." George giggled again. _Was his laugh always this cute?_

"Pshh, I am not." Dream crossed his arms. 

"Are too."

"Am not."

They continued arguing as they got Dream's luggage and hopped in a taxi. Things finally felt normal again. Just like they were months ago. 

George was telling him a story, but Dream had a hard time focusing on his friend's words. Seeing his friend's face in person while they talked was ... distracting.

"So then I sa-sa-sa-" George's face twists as he struggles to get the word out. 

That. How could Dream forget.

"Hey, it's okay. Don't force yourself." Dream puts a hand on the older boy's shoulder.

George looked embarrassed. "That's been happening recently."

Like it wasn't enough for the cancer to kill him, it also had to deteriorate his mind, making a simple sentence a struggle to say.

\---------

"Welcome to mi casa." George gestures to his flat. It was a simple one bedroom apartment. Modern and clean, seeming impersonal, yet Dream noticed George's small touches in the room immediately. 

"It suits you." Dream said, taking in his surroundings.

George rolls his eyes, looking amused.

Dream surveys the couch he'll be spending the next few days sleeping on. When Sapnap and Bad arrived he would stay in a nearby hotel with them.

The couch seemed cozy enough. As soon as Dream sat down something fuzzy jumped into his lap. He didn't flinch, already used to this treatment from Peaches.

"Hey little guy." Dream pet George's cat softly.

"No way!" George gasped, "Otis hates new people." 

"Guess I'm just special." 

"What a traitor." George fluffs Otis' fur up.

"This gives me an idea." Dream pulls his phone out of his pocket. 

\----------

Twitter was going wild.

Dream had posted a picture of George and himself, a white smiley face drawn over his real face, with Otis on his lap. 

Many believed it was the vlog all over again. #dreamgeorgemeetup was trending within minutes. Theories and freakouts were rampant. 

Dream and George scrolled through the reactions, pausing to laugh at a few. It was fun to troll twitter again, well it wasn't actually a troll this time.

"Wait 'till we post a picture with Sapnap and Bad."

"We'll break the internet." George giggled.

\-------------

"Hungry?" George asked.

"A bit, yeah." It was hard to tell between nerves and hunger.

"I'll cook us some lunch." George offered.

"You cook?" Dream had never heard of George so much as making spaghetti before.

"Well if you can call making sandwiches cooking." George said sheepishly.

Dream offered to make salads and soon they were 'cooking' side by side. It was nice, domestic even. 

They teased each other over condiment and topping choices while they worked. It reminded Dream of when they used to edit together. 

Dream went down the hall to the bathroom, sparing one last glance at George. He was spreading mayo on his bread. His brow crinkled in concentration.

_Cute._

Feeling a blush spread to his cheeks, the younger boy ducked his head and walked faster. 

_Stop it, Clay._

He splashed water on his face, trying to clear his head of thoughts of George.

Dream heard a plate shattering.

"George?" Face soaked, Dream ran back into the kitchen, searching for his friend.

George was shaking on the floor.

"George!"

\-----------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the two cliffhangers in a row
> 
> Idk when I'll get the next one out, homework is a killer.


	3. breathe again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for seizure
> 
> sorry you all had to wait so long, but i promise i'll finish this fic. I've read too many incompleted fanfics to leave mine unfinished!

Dream's hands clenched the arms of his seat. Fluorescent lights blinked overheard. The white walls stared back at him.

Dream sat in the hospital's waiting room, across from George's parents. 

George's mom was crying. Her husband held her hand, whispering reassurances to her. Dream had to look away from her tears and shaking form. 

Dream was playing Minecraft with George just a week ago. 

George for all Dream knew was fine a week ago.

* * *

_ Dream heard a plate shattering. _

_ "George?" Face soaked, Dream ran back into the kitchen, searching for his friend. _

_ George was shaking on the floor. _

_ "George!" _

_ Dream stared at his friend in shock. His mind was blanking out. He knows he should move, do something, help George.  _

_ George's body continued to shake. His eyes stared into the ceiling, glazed over.  _

_ Dream's hands started to shake. This is not happening. What do I even do?  _

_ Before his mind could catch up, Dream's fingers dialed 911.  _

_ "Emergency, which service do you require? Fire, Police, or Ambulance?" A feminine British voice asks. _

_ "A-ambulance." Dream hears his voice shake. He hears a horrible click, did she hang up? Dream's mind starts to slip back into panic mode when another feminine British voice asks him what happened. He barely remembers saying his friend was having a seizure. He faintly remembers the operator calming him down and instructing him to roll George onto his side. George's shakes died down after what felt like forever, though the operator assured him it was only a minute. George's eyes gradually lost their glazed look and soon after he sat up.  _

_ "You look worried Dream." George groggily says. _

_ "George! I was so worried." Dream lightly wrapped his arms around George, trying his best to be careful with the British man, but needing physical reassurance George is still there. Dream tried to stop his hands from shaking, George is okay, he tells himself. Even George's lavender scent and soft hair aren't enough to calm him down. _

_ "What happened? And why am I on the floor?" George mumbles into Dream's shoulder, clearly confused. _

_ "You had a seizure, George. I called an ambulance." Despite it just happening, it still doesn't feel real to Dream. _

_ "Huh? That's not right." George pulls away from Dream, his eyes cloudy. George stops himself, staring down at his trembling hands. He looked past Dream, to the bread knife and shattered plate laying on the floor.  _

_ A knock sounded on the door. The paramedics were finally here.  _

* * *

Dream had never seen one before. A seizure he means. He'd seen a few in movies, George's wasn't the intense shaking and foam mouth one would see in movies. Still, Dream felt the same sense of hopelessness characters in a movie portray when they can do nothing but watch as their friend's body goes against their mind. 

Dream's phone was beeping. 

It had been for the past two hours. After he told Bad and Sap George was in the hospital.

Dream just couldn't talk or text about. He's just been staring at the wall, trying to process everything. He felt like he was on the edge of breaking down. The last conversation he had with a delirious George repeating itself over and over in his mind.

He was trying his best to hold it together.

He couldn't break down not here, five feet from George's parents. This wasn't how he wanted to meet them, he had pictured a nice dinner in a fancy restaurant, with George.  _ Damn it,  _ Dream can't think about this now. To think about his own selfish desires when George was laying in a hospital bed, cancer slowly consuming his mind. 

"Mr. and Mrs. Davidson." A nurse approaches George's parents. They stand up quickly, desperation in their eyes. 

"Is George okay?" Mrs. Davidson clutches her purse nervously, silently praying for good news.

"Your son is fine. He's open for visitors now if you'll follow me." George's parents share a look of pure relief and hurry after the nurse.

Dream lets out a sigh. George is okay, he's really okay. Dream wanted to follow the nurse, but he knows George's parents need this time with their son without some person their son only really knows online. The hospital probably wouldn't allow non-relative right now anyway. He decides to ask the nurse always when she gets back. 

With a new peace of mind, Dream finally opens his phone. Over two hundred texts, discord messages, and calls from Sapnap and Bad. Dream smiled, he shouldn't have expected anything less from his friends. Dream opens the group chat between him and his two spammers. 

* * *

_ George is doing fine _

_ thank god!! _

_ what the fuck dream? making us worry like that   
_

_ -Samsung fridge  _

_ Thank muffins! _

_ Sapnap, he probably has bigger worries than texting us back rn _

_ -Badboyhalo _

_ its been two fucking hours!!!! you cant drop a bombshell like that and not say anything for that long _

_ i was pulling my fucking hair out _

_ -Samsung fridge  _

_ I'm sorry, I just couldn't focus  _

_ until I knew George was okay _

_ You're okay! I can only imagine how stressful it would've been _

_ Also language Sapnap >:( _

_ Badboyhalo _

* * *

After apologizing, Dream shut his phone off. Sapnap didn't acknowledge his apology, but Dream expected that. He knew Sapnap would take a little time to accept his apology, but he would forgive Dream like he always did. 

Dream takes how good his friends for granted, he knows. If it wasn't for them, he would never have started his channel, and his channel certainly would have never taken off. He tries to repay them in little ways and some not so little. Still, he always feels like it's never enough. George especially helped him so much and all he can do is sit here and wait.  


He catches the nurse coming back from George's room, turns out he would have to wait until tomorrow to visit George. 

Dream was okay with waiting, only he couldn't imagine going back to George's flat alone. He'd only been there for an afternoon but he could already tell it wouldn't be the same without George. Not to mention Dream couldn't imagine leaving here without George by his side.

Dream bundled up his green hoodie as a pillow, doing his best to settle into the stiff waiting room chair.

Dream fell asleep dreaming of deep brown hair and deeper eyes.

* * *

Dream woke to a dull pain in his neck. His hoodie wasn't exactly the best pillow.

He checks his phone. 9 pm. The hospital probably allows visitors now. He asks the receptionist who gives him a bored look and George's room number.

After a flight of stairs and a few wrong turns, Dream finds himself in front of George's room. All he has to do now is knock. Dream finds himself hesitating, seeing George laying in a hospital bed, hooked up to machines, it's a sight he never wanted to see. 

With a deep breath, Dream knocks quietly.

"Come in." A familiar British voice says. 

Dream turns the knob and takes a few steps in.

"George." Dream notices George looks remarkably normal. Besides the IV drip and hospital gown, he looks perfectly health.

"Why do you look so serious? It's not like I died or something." George laughs. 

"That's not a good joke when you're really dying." Dream says before he can stop himself. George gives him a strange look.

"Lighten up Dream, I'm perfectly fine." George says without any humor in his voice.

"You're not fine, that's the problem! You're in a hospital. You had a seizure. You're going to-" Dream stops himself, "You always do this. You act like everything is okay when it's just not." 

Dream didn't want this, to breakdown in front of George.

The look George is giving him will haunt his mind forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm feeling nice so here's an alternate (not canon) happy ending: (takes place after Dream falls asleep)
> 
> "Hey sleepy head." A hand ruffled Dream's hair affectionately.
> 
> "Five more minutes, George." Dream said, batting the hand away.
> 
> "Okay." George pulled his hand away, sounding a bit disappointed.
> 
> Dream groggily opened his eyes, staring at the British man before him for a few seconds.
> 
> "George!" Dream yelled, nearly falling out of his chair. He rushed to stand.
> 
> "I'm okay Dream, it's okay." George smiled at him.
> 
> "Are you sure?" Dream grabbed George's face, as if holding the British would force him to reveal the truth.
> 
> "Yeah, I'm okay." George eased into the touch, "Everything is okay"


End file.
